Our discipline summed up

You must have persistence. And an ABSOLUTE refusal to do the work for her.

One thing we parents tend to screw up, is thinking that consequences have to be painful (of heart or physical body). But the truth is, a good consequence is one that is **inconvenient** and that **naturally relates** to the offence.

This is because both inconvenient and natural/relatable consequences will be remembered the next time they are in the same situation. Inconvenience works because we are creatures who strive for the path of least resistance and don't like to be inconvenienced. Natural consequences work because when our consequence directly relates to the offence, the child can easily make the connection between cause and effect. EXAMPLE: Taking a toy away from a child who misbehaved in the grocery store does nothing for changing that child's behavior -- there was no direct correlation between cause and effect and they were left feeling punished for being a failure. Instead, a natural consequence would be that when they misbehave in the grocery store, Mom puts back their favorite snack that they were going to get that week. The consequence is closely linked to the ACTUAL point of offence (the grocery store) so the child will surely remember it the next time you're in the store and they're hoping for their favorite snack to end up in the cart!

So anyway -- what about some practical examples of this for your situation?

In this case, every time you find the toilet unflushed, you can provide her with both an INCONVENIENT consequence and a RELATABLE consequence -- and you need to REFUSE to do the work for her! These next few steps might take a lot of time for you to implement, but it will only happen a few times and she'll be trained. It pays off in the long run!

1. Make her stop whatever she's doing to come back into the bathroom. (Inconvenient consequence)

2. Have her flush the toilet. (Inconvenient consequence)

3. Explain to her that since her waste wasn't flushed immediately, she now needs to use the toilet brush to clean the bowl. (Relatable consequence)

4. Once that's all done, explain that she needs to wash her hands (even if she just did a few minutes prior) because she has touched the toilet again. (Inconvenient consequence)